Since the back end of 2020 I have being doing some self-reflection; looking at my image and personal style, and I have made some changes...
Towards the end of 2020 I wasn’t happy and comfortable in the way that I looked and the clothes that I was wearing.
It was on a work call where non-binary was discussed and I was asked for my gender pronouns; I said “she/her“ because that’s all I’ve ever known and what I thought I ’should’ say. This felt weird - strange. I now know that there are other options out there - that you don’t have to go one way or the other with the binary options that are out there.
I now know that there are other options out there - that you don’t have to go one way or the other with the binary options that are out there..
Over the next couple of weeks this played on my mind quite a bit. I kept thinking “can I?”
I was then asked to become a judge for the 2021 (and inaugural) Queer Student Awards - and I had to supply my pronouns - so I thought, why not, lets try it and I put “they/them”. A colleague later saw that profile and apologised for misgendering me - but it was new. From then they stated using these pronouns when talking to me and about me and it felt really good. I was smiling.
I finally came to realise that this is me, this is who I am; and it felt amazing to embrace this side to me. I have mentioned this before but when I was younger I never really felt like I fit in - I wasn’t a girl and yet I wasn’t a boy.
Being non-binary and using they/them pronouns, I finally feel like this is me - this is who I am. It’s great and incredibly freeing.
Being non-binary and using they/them pronouns, I finally feel like this is me - this is who I am.
From this I started looking at my style and image and I wasn’t happy. I came to realise that I was wearing the clothes/style that’s kind of expected of me. Trying to fit into and wear clothes that I wasn’t comfortable with.
So, I started looking online to see what kind of things ‘I liked’. I have always loved suits and ties - it’s intrigued me, so I explored this and saw that there are so many options and that there are so many stores I can look at to explore and embrace this side to me.
However, and frustratingly, we were in lockdown. All the shops and the high street were closed. All I could do was look online and ‘get an idea’ of what I want and what I want to view/see in real life.
A piece of advice I would give if you are thinking of changing/adapting your style - go into the stores. See the clothes, feel the fabric and explore all the options available to you. You can’t quite get that looking online.
Advice: Go into the stores, see the clothes, feel the fabric and explore all the options available to you.
When the shops finally re-opened I took a trip out to have a mooch and see what I had pictured in my head in real life.
It was great. The clothes were stunning. Before, I had never understood why people got so animated and excited about clothes shopping, for me it had always been a bit of a chore. But now I totally get it - my eyes have been well and truly opened.
Before, I had never understood why people got so animated and excited about clothes shopping, for me it had always been a bit of a chore. But now I totally get it - my eyes have been well and truly opened.
I had walked past Moss Bros many times before and I have always been drawn to their clothes and style. Seeing their clothes in real life was amazing - they were absolutely gorgeous. However, there was a slight issue - explained in my post below:
Obviously, this wasn’t a great experience and I have since written to Moss Bros head office to express my disappointment and sadness around the experience I have had at one of their stores.
They were great and messaged me back saying that the customer is at the heart of what they do and that they want all customers to go away having had a positive experience. They have asked for my assistance and help to discuss this further with some of their senior management so that they can put measures in place to make sure that this never happens to anyone else in the future; which I have gladly accepted and happy to help them with.
Anyway, following the shopping trip and seeing all the clothes I purchased a few new items; a suit jacket (which I have had tailored to fit the sleeves properly), a jumper, and some formal and informal shirts.
My hair had been annoying me for quite a while. It’s weird, I had long hair, but everyday I would tie it up in a ponytail and pull it back. So I decided to go for a hair cut and go short and I love it. Again, it’s me - it feels like me. I know I’ll have to have it cut more often, but I can do so much more with it’s styling and how it looks, which is great.
I tried this new look out on a trip to London and Soho and I felt amazing. I couldn’t stop smiling - I was embracing my real and authentic self.
I couldn’t stop smiling - I was embracing my real and authentic self.
The pic to the left was taken on the night and I not only love how I look, but how I felt. I honestly cannot wait to continue to explore this side of me going forward.
The clothes are from the following:
- Jacket - M&S
- Shoes - Bench (Deichmann)
- SeamsEasy - who tailored the sleeves
This is just the start, which is exciting. I have been researching more about this style and the ‘Do’s & Don’ts’ with it. For instance, when standing the top button on the jacket should be done up - oops.
Oh, and there are so many accessories that you can use to ‘jazz’ it up and make the look even sleeker.
I’ll be posting pics of my new style and styling experiences on my IntersexSarah Instagram account and I may also post some more on here too.
I truly am finding myself and it’s very exciting!
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